Although being adopted wasn’t completely unique, I quickly realized that being adopted in the era that I was and finding my biological parents nearly on accident and developing the relationships we did, was absolutely unique.  For a number of years, friends, family and acquaintances that heard the story always said, “what an incredible story! you should write a book!” It turns out that the story got a lot more interesting than just the headline of “adopted child finds biological parents” as time went on. Intertwining all of the families was tricky to navigate, but we made it work.

It wasn’t until that last year, the year that my adopted dad and my biological mom decided to race one another to the grave in some kind of sick and twisted Kentucky Derby, that things got complicated. Complicated as hell, a matter of fact. All of the little universes that were spinning around in their manageable, yet chaotic orbits seemed to come crashing into one another and stuff got real. Real fast.

Now this wasn’t just a story of an adoption reunion, but rather a story of one person trying to survive their parents’ dying while managing a marriage, two children, a career and seemingly every unspoken or hidden family issue coming to the surface at the same time. It was literally the hardest year of my life in just about every way. There were times I thought I’d never make it through- if I were a betting person, I’d have given myself a 50/50 chance dependent on how much Cabernet were available at any given time. But I did survive……often by the skin of my teeth. I not only survived, but discovered that I could be happy on the other side of that hellacious experience. It was often ugly, however.

This story is not for the faint of heart because, honestly, life is not for the faint of heart. I wanted everyone to know about my adoption story past what you see on TV on Day 1 where there are tears of joy and everyone’s thrilled. Life happens immediately following that and I wanted to share this incredibly raw and honest story. I want everyone who has ever pulled their hair out trying to balance being everything to everyone, felt the anguish of caring for sick or dying parents, been a working mother that is figuring out as they go along or just going through a really crappy time to know that it is highly likely that you, too, will survive and probably even grow and thrive through what you’re experiencing. I wanted to share my ugly moments so you wouldn’t beat yourself up when you go through them. For all of you, I wrote this.  I want you to laugh at my pain as I do now. Because it will all be ok………..eventually.  And life is good. Even if it doesn’t feel that way. And through it all, I wouldn’t trade my adoption story for anything.